Quasar’s speech to the Earthlings

I am a Martian, I have been watching your planet for 20 solar rotations and I finally understand your culture. It has come to my attention that there is deadly attitude problem that is destroying this world. I have come to Australia today This affliction that Australia is infected with is, charity.
Let me explain further; Africans aren’t human.

I mean lets be honest, they couldn’t be. Sure the softer members of your community might donate a goat or two to Africa, but in reality this is nothing to what we have. Large portions of the African nation have been destroyed and damaged by conflict and civil wars, and it clear that the western world has no intention of helping them. If we really cared about them then maybe you would have sold your second car, your Jacuzzi or your hydroponics gardening system. It makes me angry, that these godless activists are asking for us to give away even a thin slice just so they can sleep at night. No real sacrifice has been made by the western world, and as I see it, no real sacrifice should. So as a relative outsider to this society I can see, that the impoverished all over the world are not actual human beings. And finally it makes sense. I was confused as we all have been, you see by this facade of politically correct generosity invented by these; liberals. Somewhere along the way something changed, these hippies have perpetrated the idea of charity into our national psyche. In the middle east they are lavish in there wealth and they separate the indian working class that build there mammoth buildings, I’ve seen it first hand. We should aspire to be like them and we are close to them. We are very close from the dirty lie provided by the 1% poverty sympathizers over the 99% of hard working Australians. Theres a name for when the few rules over the many, it’s called fascism. I’ve worked hard to be born into this wonderful 1st world and I am not giving away my piece of the pie to some tribesman. We can’t have it both ways Australia, being charitable and well off. It is either one or the other, and I say “Screw the Africans!”

Enough of Timon and Pumba however and let us focus on some closer threats of your glorious nation.

The trend continues in this regard, in how we pretend to look after these “boat people”, I honestly don’t believe that they are people at all. However the current trend of pretend charity continues into this issue. Instead of giving them the respect of welcoming them into our privileged country, we just put them on an island near Australia and forgot about them. No more half measures Canberra, only full measures can be used in an invasion event such as this.

I suggest bomb the boats, and if they try sink there own or any other dodgy indian trick we’ll shoot them right there and them, save them the trouble of drowning.
Man the fuck up Australia… You have to face the selfish greedy lot that we are. Australia is still on the fence, this needs to change and it starts with… You.

Thank you for being such a receptive audience, live long and prosper. I leave for the stars, farewell homos.


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