The Terrifying Tale of the Vaticoon

“I want Darwin’s brilliant head so shiny I that I can see the reflection of the microbes on my face,” shouted the esteemed Head Bravthiest Einstein to a group of interns. His full name was Tesla Einstein and he had several signed copies of the God Delusion with which had traded to obtain his position in the Vaticoon. Tesla loved his work with the brightest and most euphoric in Vaticoon, the leading atheist organisation, he loved it some much that he wanted to climb to the very top of the food chain by whatever means possible. Today was an especially frantic day for Tesla as he was up for promotion by the Natural Selection Council. He walked briskly to back to his personal lab and washed his face in refreshing fluoride cleansed water. He adjusted his supreme matte white lab coat and cleansed the ornamental test tubes. With a euphoric wink, he effectively snapped on his snazzy fedora and walked out the door. Tesla stood by the doors leading to the magnificent Dawkins Fedoral Assembly where he would be judged. His stomach churned like a reaction of sulphur dioxide and carbon lattices. A small buzz called him in (a bell would have been to Christian like), he took out a small picture of Neil deGrasse Tyson and kissed it for luck. He walked in with pride and walked out a Pope Supreme GodStomper. As his first act he gave the most tremendous speech that the oppressed god haters had all waited for. He shouted for the crucifixion of Christians and the stoning of Muslims all in the name of Darwin.

GodStomper Tesla Einstein screamed at the top of his lungs,
“DEATH TO ALL FANATICS!!! DEATH TO ALL FANATICS!!!”

And thus started the Bravtheism Crusades that ended centuries of disgusting healthy debate about the origins of the universe and began a new rein of euphoric ban on any god. The laws dictated that everyone must have open methodical thinking, AND ONLY THAT.

Sexy and Swag all in one bundle
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