Local man Bill Shorten here.
I’m 42 like most men my age and I take a great interest in the happenings of the world. It has occurred to me that we are all being afflicted with a terrible disease. This is a disease of the mind and is commonly called charity. Let me explain further; Africans aren’t really human.
Don’t get all uppity, lets be honest with ourselves; they couldn’t be. Sure the more weak minded members of our community might donate a goat or two to Africa, but in reality this is nothing compared to our resources. Large portions of the African continent have been destroyed and damaged by conflict and civil wars and it is clear that the western world has no intention of helping those situations, as one human would help another. They’re not human and I don’t see any other possible scenarios in which the our actions as fellow human beings would be rational. After all what do they expect from me, to sell my Jacuzzi or my third car? I worked hard to be born white, male, straight, and in a first world country. I’m not giving away my piece of the pie so that Timon and Pumba can eat for a week! Yes at Christmas time we decide to donate and then for the rest of the year we feel good about our selves. Its unfortunate that the starving and impoverished can’t fill up their stomachs for the year like the western world’s moral conscious.
It wasn’t always like this however, this affliction of charity. Somehow the public have been bamboozled by dirty liberals into this ideology. This filthy lie provided by the 1% of poverty sympathizers over the 99% hard honest workers. There’s a name for this situation, where the few rule over the many without any empathy; fascism.
Enough of that trickster Africa though, and to the more urgent threat of “boat people.” I used to watch cartoons on Saturday morning before soccer practise and my favourite show was Transformers or as I called it “car people” . But don’t get these scoundrels mixed up with the Auto-bots (as I did at first, and I was severely disappointed) these Arab buggers are Decepticons through and through! Instead of welcoming them to our beautiful country as our national anthem would suggest (For those who’ve come across the seas // We’ve boundless plains to share ) we put them on Christmas island (Merry fucken’ Islamabombboom to ya) and forget about them. Are we filming some sort of reality tv version of Lord of the Flies except with bombs!? No more half measures Canberra, only full measures can be used in an invasion such as this. How about we bomb the boats, that’ll be a clear message. If they try and sink their own boat or any other dodgy indian trick we’ll shoot them right there and them, save them the trouble of drowning. Man the fuck up Australia.
This situation is much bigger than just Australia however, the entire humankind is on the fence.
We can’t have it both ways, being charitable and well off.
It is either one or the other, and I say screw Africa!