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The Prince retrieved his phone again and looked through the messages from Ron Jeremy.

[Make $800 a day from your house!]

“Yes, THANK YOU INTERNET GOD,” he shouted as he spammed the button.

Nothing happened.

“I am not making $800!” the Prince shouted

He frantically checked his pockets and ripped off his clothes but found no cash.

The driver looked at him condescendingly, “You know that not going to work right? It’s just a sc-”

The Prince laughed “Of course it won’t work… I need to be in a house”

Running to the nearest shack he kicked the door down.

A nearby woman screamed as she lay witness to the man wearing only a burgundy cape and briefs.

Suddenly, money materilzed in his underwear. The Prince laughed as cash poured down his legs.

He continued to hoard the money, piling it into his cape with one hand.

The woman was in hysterics.

“Get out you wizard!” she screeched.

“If you wish m’lady”

They left the shack. The Prince breathed in the air feeling again like a man and checked his buzzing phone.

[What is the first letter of the alphabet? A, B, or C]

“This is easy!” he exclaimed.

The driver scoffed, “Of course it is. It’s so that idiots like you think your smart by knowing the answe-”

A wad of cash appeared from the sky and knocked the driver out.

“Look who’s the smart guy now” he retorted who pocketed the money but then had a change of heart and tucked the money into the drivers jacket.

The Prince then deposited his money at the Bank and walked back to the Palace where we promptly bought Nigeria.

Jeffria as it was now called prospered with their main export being… money.

King Jeffrey felt sorry for his dethroned Father and newly adopted son/mugger so sometimes he forwarded them some
of his money sources, such as the [Work for Google at home, make $827 a day] but he received no reply.

The King was also forced to send them a story of
[A little girl with no eyes that will kill you if you don’t send this to 20 of your friends].

He also closed his eHarmoney and blog, he was far to busy running the country (by which I mean creating money).

Soon the value of the Nigeria Naria ($) was driven into the ground as international authority’s realised the massive fraud.

These days the King spends his days with Queen Candy and their son Ron Jeremy, as most of his friends were mysteriously murdered by a little girl with no eyes…

He has made an effort to keep Jeffria’s imports and exports running through secret emails of smuggling his money out of Nigeria which he has cleverly disguised in broken English to trick government authorities.

This is entire story of King Jeffrey of Jeffria. Thank you reading what was an entirely truthful and fact filled account of history.

Oh and another thing;
Another attempt to hold the economy together was to create a blog telling a story of his rise to power and if someone ‘happened’ comment ¬†their Account details, BSP number and PIN and on this blog (wink)
he would receive millions of dollars for his services (WINK WINK)…

(NUDGE NUDGE)…

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“What a magical evening,” the Prince exclaimed.

Candy still lay on the bed suitability ravished, that is thanks to the secret ‘Ron Jeremy’ trick.
He checked his phone for the time, more offers from Ron Jeremy. Who was this illusive benefactor?
This would have to wait however.

“I must be off, I have my favourite tunic in the wash”

She simply moaned in reply as the Prince swung his cape on his shoulder and strutted out.

“I truly am a man now!” he reflected stepping out into the cold dark street.

A shadow of a man jumped from the darkness.

“TAKE EVERYTHING!” the Prince squealed.

“Uh okay. I just wanted your wallet but-” the man said blankly as he was hit with credits cards and jewellery.

“JUST DON’T STAB ME YOU FIEND!” he shouted his voice muffled as he hid behind his royal gown.

“I wasn’t going to umm Your Highness but thanks.” he walked up stairs clutching the treasure.

Running back to the park Mercedes crying he thought to himself, “My life is worth more than all the treasures in the world”

“I am lucky to be a alive! Quick back to the palace I need a hot bath…” the Prince commanded to his driver.

The Driver was talking on the phone.

“Unbelievable rudeness I am firing you!”

The driver put down the phone and turned around, “Well I am afraid I don’t work for you any more”

Without warning the same man that had mugged him appeared at the car.

“This is the new Prince of Nigeria.” the driver got out of the car.

“This is the man who mugged me!”

The mugger hopped into the drivers seat, “You did say take everything.”

“I didn’t mean tha-”

The New Prince turned to the driver “Actually the former Prince was correct you are fired. I can drive my own cars.”

“Oh… well that is unfortunate.” the driver said solemnly

“THAT’S UNFORTUNATE!?!? I HAVE BEEN USURPED BY THIS PEASANT” shouted the ex-Prince theatrically.

The driver wrung his cap in his hands, “How am I going to feed my children…?”

“Get out of my car please,” commanded the mugger as he plucked the crown from the Princes head.

The ex-Prince was in shock, he hopped out the Mercedes and watched it drive off.

“My mother is sick, she needs medicine.” the driver looked down to the gutter.

“Oh piss off you whinger, always thinking of yourself aren’t you!
That imposter is probably bathing in MY juzacuzzi as we speak…”

Now with tears streaming down his face, “I owe my landlord money, he’s going to evict my fam-”

“Family! That’s it. My father will sort this out.”

The monotone drones of the driver faded into the distance as the disgraced Prince ran to the palace.

He tried to get through the royal gate and looked up to his horror to see his Father and that dirty mugger sharing martinis
on the balcony.

“Father that isn’t me!”

The King of Nigeria chuckled, “Of course it isn’t Jeffrey. I like this Prince much more, he has got guts you know?
He stabbed an old man for bread once!” he slapped the impostor on the back and laughed some more.

“That’s terrible Dad! Let me in so we can sort this out.”

“Oh go away” the mugger snorted. They both retreated back into the palace.

Now the prince began to cry as he sat on the gutter watching the cars go past.

“Look at them they have homes and money and family. I have nothing.”

Not before too long the driver appeared on the distance still sobbing his tie hanging loosely off his neck.

“Please can you help me I need money my house is goin-”

“Shut up” the Prince dismmised him, “Wait… Money… house”

Suddenly a brilliant idea entered his head.

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The Mercedes or the Lamborghini? Life presented the Prince of Nigeria with hard alternatives often.

Deciding not to be appear to boastful he wisely choose the Mercedes.

Needless to say the Prince didn’t know how to drive, but his driver was more than pleased to drive his cars for him.

He hopped into the passenger seat and off they went to the Cafe.

“Will she be there?” he wondered gazing out the window.

They arrived quickly and quickly checked himself in the mirror

Clinching his eyes and covering his for the photographer flashes and paparazzi, he walked out in the street.
To the Prince’s dismay the street was empty. No one was here to find out the story why he had left his room.

The cafe was small and there was one table with a beautiful woman sitting at it.

He walked over with a smile, “H-Hello there, Candy?”
She stood up as if in fright, “Oh wow are you a prince or something?”

The prince reflected on the royal burgundy cape and gold trimmed crown he had chosen for the event.

“Yes” he sat down.

Candy held a confused look on her face, “Wait. You’re that prince who sends everybody emails aren’t you?”

“Um, well yes I used to. Now I mainly stick to Facebook and eHarmo- well it doesn’t matter. My name is Jeffery”

“I’m Candy”

“So you live l-locally right?”

“Yep I’m just round the corner. Do you want to come see my place?”

“I thought we were having coff-”

“Oh we can have coffee at my place, the stuff here is trash!” she smiled innocently.

They got up and left out the back of the building.

The Prince looked down the dark alley, this looked like a place you might get mugged.

He uneasily followed the woman feeling like he was being watched.

“Hey don’t be scared I’ll protect you,” she rubbed his velvet clad arm seductively.

“I’ll go get that coffee okay my King?”

“Prince” he corrected her.

Candy’s apartment was shabby, “I should send my cleaner over here. Your apartment is terrible.”
But before he could phone, Candy had appeared back at the doorway… wearing nothing at all.

“Ah gosh woman you’ve lost your clothes! Cover yourself!”

She laughed and ran towards him.

“Away!” the Prince commanded as he scampered into a closet and locked it.

He wasn’t afraid to give himself to this woman it was just that he didn’t exactly possess a ‘royal staff’.

In his moment of stress all he could think of was writing his thoughts, he retrieved his phone.

The white light illuminated the darkness of the closet. The woman was banging on the door, “MAKE ME ROYALTY MY KING!” she shouted.

“PRINCE!” he shouted back.

He opened his blog and started to write but was interrupted.
Someone had actually commented on his blog a Mr ‘Ron Jeremy’…

[Have a pinner? Get a 10 incher with this one simple trick!]

“Oh God thank you!” he exclaimed he clicked it without hesitation.

“It’s that simple!”

Candy pressed her ear to the door as she heard the strange sounds.

“I’m READY!” he shouted as Candy backed up.

Suddenly the Prince busted out of the closet, did a back flip, and landing perfecting on all three legs

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